A FRIENDLIER FRIENDSGIVING: CHEESE BOARDS + OYSTERS (1)
I remember everything about the first year I didn’t go home to be with my parents on Thanksgiving. It was the fall after I met my (now) husband. I’d already lived in New York for a long time, but it was the first year I felt like there was something in the city worth sticking around for. I cried a little at the thought of missing that special family time, the epic meal, the allocating of chores--I would brine the turkey (as I was the only one who knew how, or why it mattered), my sisters would tackle creamed corn, dad was on mashed potatoes, my brother flexed his cranberry relish card while my mom made pies--all the perfect pies. But I also wondered what new and perhaps (one day) meaningful new traditions might join these.
That morning, Andras made me the most horrible buckwheat pancakes known to man. I cried miserably. It was a disaster. But, in true Andras fashion (to wit: I later married him), he made up for it--taking me on a slow, cozy bike ride to Chinatown for the most soul-warming steamed pork buns which we ate, street side, from crinkly brown paper bags. It wasn’t a perfect new tradition, but it was a stepping stone.
The next year, Andras’ dear old friend moved to town with his American wife, straight from Madrid. All of us expats from another world (the guys from Europe, the gals from the Midwest) we cobbled together a new family for ourselves in New York, and our Friendsgiving tradition began. We spent the next 10 years doing Friendsgiving together in one of our tiny apartments, cramming in friends and sometimes siblings, and later our kids, one to five in succession, as each one arrived on the scene. They moved, we moved and then they moved again--and our traveling circus Thanksgiving went right on ticking. We’ve thanksgiving’d in Queens and Washington Heights, the Hudson Valley and Michigan and finally, in Pennsylvania at a charming rented cabin--a halfway meeting point in between.
Our thanksgiving meals always included the classics--the turkey and potatoes and stuffing and the whole fuss. But it was a fuss, between nursing babies and wrangling toddlers who climbed ever near to hot turkeys and sharp carving knives. It was always worth it--yes--but the pies and the dishes and the bleary-eyed kids who binge-watched cartoons while we cooked was real. Next year, we’ll order pizza--we joked.
Last year, these dear friends moved to Spain, and I found myself back where I was a decade ago--letting go of the (new) beloved tradition I’d always known. There were less tears this time around, and maybe a little more open-heartedness to the wonder of what new and beautiful thing might come to replace it. I felt a little lost, and yet also, free.
It took me a minute to figure it out, but I think I’ve found our new Thanksgiving--at least for now. It’s a full on shake up: No turkey at all. There will be Oysters and cheese boards and kids watching movies. There will be bonfires and board games and most importantly--not a lot of dishes. There will be friends--some new, a few old. Maybe our new Friendsgiving includes doing epic puzzles? Or playing truth or dare? It definitely involves cheese,and lots of it. Beer and wine, of course. Easy crowd-pleasing stuff. I’ll make my cranberry bundt cake--or maybe buy a gorgeous panettone if I’m feeling lazy (because let’s face it, I bake and cook nearly every single day of the year, I think it’s fair to take this one off).
Here’s what it won’t include: Fuss. It will be zero on the fuss scale. It won’t include a hot kitchen and too many mixing bowls. There won’t be days worth of dishes or a turkey carcass, vying for fridge space with the cranberry relish. I know, that means there won’t be leftovers either (I’ll happily come help you eat yours) but you know what that also means? Less time packing and zipping and reinventing into soothing soups and towering sandwiches --more time hiking and hunkering down with the people I love. It’s time, a new Thanksgiving is here.
**All opinions are my own.** images belong to Sarah Copeland, and should not be pinned or posted without attribution. **
Photos // HARRISON LUBIN
Food + Prop Styling // SARAH COPELAND